Saturday, December 31, 2016

The Week 17 Games That Matter


     In most sports, the last game of the regular season usually just isn't very important. Two teams being tied after 81 or 161 games is rare, and it's even more unlikely for those two teams to be competing for the same playoff spots within a division or league. That's all different in the NFL, where teams only get 16 chances to separate themselves from the competition. Week 17 is often the de facto start of the playoffs, with a bunch of win-or-go-home games on the slate. This year is relatively light on the drama, but there are still a handful of games that could make a big impact on the playoff picture. Let's get to it. (Home team in CAPS)

DOLPHINS (+9.5) over Patriots

Your weekly reminder that Ryan Tannehill is a lucky SOB 
Despite the presence of Matt Moore on the Dolphins roster, both of these teams have clinched a spot in the playoffs, but we still don't know where either will be seeded. The Patriots sit in their rightful place atop the AFC, but a loss and a Raiders win would drop them to the #2 seed. This scenario is de ja vu for Pats fans, who will remember that New England was in poll position for the #1 seed before losing their final two games last year, resulting in a trip to Denver for the AFC Championship game that we're not gonna talk about. Brady and Belichick have been pretty open about not wanting to make the same mistake again this year, but the scenario is definitely different. Even if the Pats do end up as the #2 seed, the only place they might have to travel would be to Oakland, where they would face Matt McGloin for a Super Bowl ticket. That's far from a nightmare scenario, and may be enough for Belichick to play this game in Miami very conservatively. However, The Hooded One is not a big fan of resting players, and almost certainly won't want his defense to lose the momentum they've built up over the past month. With one bye week already secured, there is also less need for rest. 

For Miami, the stakes are a whole lot higher. If they lose, they will be locked into the #6 seed, which means a trip to Pittsburgh. If they win, they have a chance to jump to the #5 seed, which means a matchup with the Texans. Facing Ben Roethlisberger vs facing Tom Savage is about as life-or-death as it gets.

While I think both teams will be trying in this one, the Dolphins definitely need it more. They are at home, where they always play the Pats tough. Belichick will probably start everyone, but the gameplan will be vanilla and conservative, especially on offense. I don't see the Pats winning by double digits, so I'll take the points.

BRONCOS (-1.5) over Raiders

The Broncos are out of the playoffs.


The Raiders can move up to the 1 seed with a win, or fall all the way to the 5 seed with a loss. They have plenty of motivation, but they also have to start Matt McGloin at QB thanks to Derek Carr's brutal broken leg. One of the most difficult adjustments for inexperienced signal callers to make is to the speed of the NFL game; even playing in preseason doesn't really get you ready for how fast football is on Sunday. It seems downright unfair then that McGloin's first start since 2013 will be in Denver. If the game feels too fast for him already, Von Miller is going to feel like The Flash wielding Thor's hammer. 

Oh yeah, and if the Raiders do lose, we will get a Matt McGloin vs. Tom Savage matchup in the first round. As a fan of hilariously terrible football, I am extremely excited for this. 

Chiefs (-5.5) over CHARGERS

The Chiefs currently hold the 5 seed, but could jump up to the 2 seed with a win and a Raiders loss. Thats the difference between going to Houston on wildcard weekend and staying home. From the neutral perspective, we should be rooting for the Chiefs to lose in week 17 so they can get rid of the Texans (as, of course, is tradition). Alex Smith is going to be the third best QB in the AFC playoffs. Woof. 

The Chargers have endured an absolutely miserable season destroyed by early injuries to key players and an incredible ability to find creative ways to lose. I have no idea what they might be playing for, and they have literally no home field advantage. This line should be at least 7. 

Pretty much sums it up

Seahawks (-9.5) over 49ERS

Unlike in years past, the Seahawks have been stumbling towards the finish line, with key player after key player going down with injuries. Safety Earl Thomas is out for the season, as is WR Tyler Lockett and RB C.J. Prosise. They are 2-3 in their last 5 games, and simply haven't looked as dominant as they used to. They are still dangerous, but they could really use a win this week to set up their playoff run. Currently the #3 seed, they are slated to host whoever snags the final spot, with a trip to Atlanta in the divisional round. However, with a win and a Falcons loss, Seattle would move up to the 2 seed, getting a bye and then hosting the Divisional Round. Given how much of an advantage the Seahawks crowd gives them, the difference between the 2 and 3 seeds could be huge. With a loss here, the Seahawks would fall to the 4 seed, setting up a matchup with the Giants on Wild Card Weekend. Seattle has everything to play for, and the San Francisco actually has incentive to lose because of the draft. I simply can't see the 49ers keeping it competitive. 

Saints (+7) over FALCONS

This is a HUGE game for Atlanta. If they can catch Seattle for the 2 seed, their path through the playoffs would be entirely in domed stadiums, including the Super Bowl in Houston. If they can't catch Seattle, they will host a wildcard game and then have to travel to Seattle. That's not an easy path, especially for a team that relies on its high powered offense.  

The Saints have no chance to make the playoffs, so why am I picking them? Well, first because these teams HATE each other, which should provide plenty of motivation for New Orleans to play spoiler. Secondly, I don't think the Falcons are that much better of a team; both are all offense no defense squads that rely on explosive passing games. The Falcons are better, but not by that much. But mostly, this is just one of those games that teams from Atlanta lose. Especially at home. Its just the way it goes. Sorry ATL. At least Gucci Mane is out of jail?

Giants (+7.5) over REDSKINS

The Giants are locked into the #5 seed, and will play on the road against Atlanta, Green Bay or Detroit. Nothing they do in this game will change that. The Redskins need to win to lock up the #6 seed (unless the Packers and Lions tie), and a loss will eliminate them from the playoffs. On paper, the Giants should rest all of their starters, giving Washington an easy win. But I don't think the Giants play it that way. This team is on fire, and wants to keep it rolling into the playoffs. Hell, Victor Cruz was even talking this week about a Super Bowl trilogy matchup against the Pats, so you know the Giants feel like they are going on another one of their runs (this will drive me insane, btw). Additionally, the Redskins play in Washington, which might be the only city with a better history of playoff duds than Atlanta. The Redskins may win this game (and the playoff spot) in the end, but they definitely won't make it easy on themselves. Even if they are facing New York's backups, this will be a one score game.

Your weekly reminder that Eli Manning is a mouth breathing goober


Packers (-3.5) over LIONS

This is the only true win-or-go-home matchup this week, and appropriately it has been flexed into the Sunday Night TV slot. Technically, both teams would advance to the postseason with a tie, but this isn't soccer so we aren't going to see 75 minutes of Stafford and Rodgers kneeling. They are going to fight for the win, and its pretty easy to see why the Packers are favored despite being on the road. They have won 5 straight games, with Rodgers posting passer ratings above 100 in 4 of them. Perhaps more importantly, they have improved their defense, which was getting absolutely shredded earlier in the year. While still certainly far from a solid unit, Green Bay is no longer giving up video game stats every week. With Rodgers and the offense cruising like they are, just getting in the Lions way might be enough, and honestly, they might not even have to do that because...

The Lions suck. Yes, they have won 9 games, but they are also 8-4 in games decided by 7 points or less. You read that correctly, 12 of the Lions 15 games this year came down to the final possession. There is a ton of statistical evidence that says that a team's record in close games mostly comes down to chance in the NFL, so the Lions are closer to a .500 team than the playoff contender they've been all season. They have gotten whooped in both of their last two games, 42-21 to the Cowboys and a 17-6 scoreline against the Giants that should have been about 50-6. Detroit fans are probably banking on the Packers defense being awful, but the Lions offense hasn't been much better: they are 17th in offensive DVOA for the season, and 31st over the last month. They have absolutely no running game, and even with a ton of volume, Stafford has thrown for more than 300 yards just once since week 3. 

The Packers are running hot, the Lions are in a tailspin. The Packers have Aaron Rodgers, the Lions do not. The Packers are the Packers, and the Lions play here:



That's actually a picture of Aleppo, but you didn't know that and nobody can blame you.





  

 

 












Sunday, October 16, 2016

NFL Picks Week 6


Last week was an all-time disaster for NFL gamblers. Underdogs were winning outright, home field advantage meant nothing, and just about everyone who picks games got waxed. I picked a hell of a week to take my bye!

As always, home team in CAPS

Broncos (-3.5) over CHARGERS

I thought the Broncos pass rush would eat Philip Rivers alive and the Denver offense would do enough for an easy victory. Instead, the opposite happened; the Chargers defense completely stymied Denver's offense, and the home team scrapped together just enough points to beat the defending Super Bowl Champions. Great start to the week.

Bengals (+9.5) over PATRIOTS

I love Tom Brady and this two tight end offense with Martellus Bennett and Gronk is the NFL equivalent of Dr. Manhattan. It's never a fair fight. The Patriots are going to win this game. 
That being said, I liked this line a lot more where it opened, at 6.5. The Bengals are better than they have played so far, and they have plenty of offensive weapons to get the kind of cheap second half scores that Belichick doesn't mind giving up when his team is up big. This one screams backdoor cover. 

Ravens (+3) over GIANTS



The Ravens just fired offensive coordinator Marc Trestman, a move that should have happened before he was even interviewed for the job. It seems that an inability to establish the running game was the biggest problem (cut to every person in Chicago nodding vigorously), so we should see a healthy dose of the backfield in the first week under Marty Morninweg. On the other hand, Baltimore is turning to Marty Morninweg as their savior. Woof. Meanwhile, the Giants have been running the same offense for about a decade: Eli Manning, a solid crew of receivers, no TE and no running game whatsoever. They're the result of a bad fantasy draft in Madden. Both these teams have been pretty bad offensively this year, but there is reason to believe one of them might improve this week. 



 Rams (+3) over LIONS

The Rams are 3-2, which means they are still one loss away from Jeff Fisher Equilibrium. Plus, they are still starting Kase Keenum at QB for some reason. Todd Gurley has run for an astoundingly terrible 2.7 yards per carry, although that might not be a surprise since he is literally the only thing the Rams have going for them on offense. However, if there is a week for him to get going, its this one, as the Lions are 28th in DVOA against the run. More than anything though, this is a pick against the Lions. I think Detroit is just terrible. They lost to the Bears. They were extremely lucky to beat the Eagles last week, needing a late fumble to come back and win. Matt Stafford can throw the ball, but he has to because they have maybe the worst running game in the NFL. They can't stop the run or the pass, and are dead last in defensive DVOA. Give me LA Fisher!!

The bathroom is all the way over there? 


Eagles (-3) over REDSKINS

Taking a rookie QB as a road favorite should make me nervous. But, the NFL in 2016 makes absolutely no sense. This line is definitely a reflection of how bad Washington has looked this season, as they are a veeeery ugly 3-2. Philly is 2nd in defensive DVOA, and has been especially good against the pass (remember that complete destruction of Pittsburgh?) The Redskins have a ton of weapons on offense, and that should make them better than they are. Unfortunately, Captain Kirk hasn't been playing well, and he will have another tough day here. 

Panthers (-2.5) over SAINTS

The hangover for Super Bowl losers is a well documented phenomenon, and it has hit the Panthers harder than usual, exacerbated by injuries to Cam Newton and Jonathan Stewart. Good news: Newton will be back this week, with Stewart possibly playing a role as well. I don't think the Panthers were as good as their 15-1 record last season, but they aren't as bad as their 1-4 record this season. I think they get the offense going in this one, and their upcoming schedule is pretty friendly (Cardinals, at Rams, Chiefs, Saints) so they could go on a little run here. 

The key to this game will be the matchup of Drew Brees against the Panthers secondary. While the defense was a huge strength last season, Carolina has fallen to the middle of the pack in DVOA this year, and they are 22nd against the pass. Brees must have been salivating watching Matt Ryan destroy them a couple weeks ago, and he is at home. However, I just think this Panthers team has to regress upwards at some point, and Im picking this week for it to start. 



49ers (+8) over BILLS



A lot of people are going to be watching this game, because Colin Kaepernick will be getting the start at QB for the 49ers. I don't give a shit. I don't think he makes much of a difference on the field; if he was really going to light the world on fire, Chip Kelly would have gone to the running QB much sooner. However, I also don't think the Bills should be favored by more than a TD against anyone. They haven't won 4 straight since 2008, and I can totally see them giving this one away completely with dumb penalties, turnovers, and inexplicable mental mistakes. It's just what the Bills do. 

Steelers (-7) over DOLPHINS

Have you watched the Dolphins play offense this year? If you're reading this, I'm assuming you haven't, because it will burn your eyeballs out of your skull. The average Miami drive lasts 4.5 plays, last in the NFL. They turn it over on 18.3% of their possessions, which is 4th worst. They score on 23% of possessions, which is also dead last. I know Pittsburgh is banged up, and doesn't have an elite defense to begin with, but come on. This is going to be a demolition. 

TITANS (-7) over Browns



This is one of the worst matchups I have ever seen, and somehow this is the fourth season in a row to feature these two teams playing. The Browns are hoping to have Cody Kessler healthy at QB this week, which is an incredibly depressing best case scenario. They're going 0-16. Let's move on. 

Falcons (+7) over SEAHAWKS

This line makes no sense to me. The Falcons offense looks absolutely legit, and they just beat a team with outstanding defense and offensive issues last week. The Seahawks are at home, and the weather is expected to be bad, which will hurt the Falcons passing game. However, I just don't see how Seattle wins by more than a TD. This is one of the best matchups of the week, but of course it won't be in prime time because the NFL doesn't give a fuck. 

Chiefs (-2) over RAIDERS

Andy Reid is 15-2 after a bye week. The Chiefs got absolutely massacred by the Steelers the last time they played. They will be incredibly well prepared and fired up for this divisional game. Also, Jamaal Charles is off the injury report, meaning he could have a triumphant return to the field. It will be interesting to watch what role Stephen Ware plays in this backfield moving forwards. I think the Raiders are good, but they are flying a little too high right now at 4-1. This is a classic comedown game for them, as they come unraveled under the pressure of Kansas City's execution. This could also be a big Jeremy Maclin week, as the Raiders are 29th in pass defense DVOA and particularly vulnerable against WRs.

PACKERS (-4.5) over Cowboys

The juiciest matchup to watch in this one is the Cowboys running game against the Packers front seven. Green Bay is 2nd in rush defense DVOA, while Dallas has football's best running game. If the Packers can fight that battle to a draw, they will have the edge as I don't see much about this Dallas defense that will concern Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers has been far from spectacular this season, but his offensive line is playing very well, and I think he will put some points on the board at home. 

BEARS (-1.5) over Jaguars




If this isn't the worst game of the 2016 season there should be a riot. 


Colts (+3) over TEXANS


For those of you keeping track, that's the 5th time I've used the poop emoji to describe a game. Seriously though, why the hell is this game in primetime? Both of these teams suck. There are a handful of much more compelling games to choose from. I don't care that both teams are playoff contenders because of their shit division. I really don't want to talk about this game, and I certainly don't want to watch it. What the hell.  

In 2014, Andrew Luck was sacked 27 times in 16 games. That was a problem. He has been sacked 20 times in 5 games so far this season, which is a violation of his human rights. Ryan Grigson is terrible at being a GM. However, the Colts still have Luck, who is far better than anyone on the Texans with no JJ Watt. Im done talking about this. 

Cardinals (-7) over JETS

The Jets secondary is atrocious. They are dead last in the NFL in pass defense DVOA, and that might be underselling how bad they are. Carson Palmer is back for this one, and I think he has a massive day. New York simply doesn't have anyone who can stay with John Brown deep, and they certainly can't cover Larry Fitzgerald and all the other Cardinals weapons at the same time. The Cardinals have been dysfunctional this season, and have massively underperformed expectations, but if there is a team to turn it around against, this week is it. Also, Eric Decker went on IR this week and Ryan Fitzpatrick is still the Jets QB. Don't be scared of the big line.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Red Sox vs Indians ALDS Preview



It's playoff time baby! After back-to-back last place finishes, the Red Sox are back in the postseason for the first time since 2013. Somebody remind me how that turned out...

nice smile Buchholz you creepy fuck


The first step in repeating that feat is beating the Cleveland Indians, with game 1 starting today. Here's everything you need to know about the series.

Season Series: 4-2 Red Sox, with Boston taking 2 of 3 in both series the teams played this year.

Schedule

Game 1: Cleveland, Thursday @ 8 PM EST
Game 2: Cleveland, Friday @ 4:30 PM EST
Game 3: Boston, Sunday @ 4 PM EST
Game 4 (if necessary): Boston, Monday TBD
Game 5 (If necessary): Cleveland, Wednesday, TBD

Cleveland has home field advantage in the series by virtue of winning 1 more game than the Sox during the regular season. They were 53-28 at home, tied for 2nd best in MLB, so this could definitely play a big role in the series. 

Starting Lineups

                                                                         Red Sox                                                                        

 PlayerPOSABHRRBIAVG
1Dustin Pedroia 2B63315740.318
2Brock Holt 3B2907340.255
3Mookie Betts RF672311130.318
4David Ortiz DH537381270.315
5Hanley Ramirez 1B549301110.286
6Xander Bogaerts SS65221890.294
7Jackie BradleyCF55826870.267
8Sandy LeonC2527350.310
9Andrew Benintendi LF1052140.295
The Red Sox offense was dominant during the regular season, scoring an MLB-best 878 runs during the regular season. The top of the order is completely devastating, anchored by possible MVP Mookie Betts and the living legend Big Papi, along with a massively resurgent Hanley Ramirez. Dustin Pedroia is hitting as well as he ever has right now, and doing a great job setting the table for the power guys. Hanley Ramirez is red hot, riding a power surge that saw him belt 10 home runs in the month of September alone. If Mookie Betts does indeed win MVP, it will be in large part because he was a destroyer of worlds down the stretch, batting .330 over the final month of the season. If the Sox can get guys like Jackie Baseball and Xander Bogaerts going like they were earlier in the year, this lineup will be completely unstoppable. 

                                                                          Indians

 PlayerPOSABHRRBIAVG
1Carlos Santana 1B58234870.259
2Jason Kipnis 2B61023820.275
3Francisco Lindor SS60415780.301
4Mike Napoli DH557341010.239
5Jose Ramirez 3B56511760.312
6Lonnie Chisenhall RF3858570.286
7Rajai Davis LF45412480.249
8Tyler Naquin CF32114430.296
9Yan Gomes C2519340.167

While Cleveland can't quite match the top-to-bottom balance of the Red Sox, they are a very strong offensive team in their own right. They scored 777 runs, good for 5th best in baseball. The Indians hit just 185 homers this yar (18th in MLB), but make up for it with clutch hitting and speed on the basepaths (they stole 134 bases as a team, best in the American League). They feature a very unusual lineup construction, as their leadoff hitter is a first baseman who is tied for the team lead in HR and isn't a threat to steal. Meanwhile, their speedy middle infield star (Francisco Lindor) bats third, a spot traditionally reserved for sluggers. Red Sox fans will also recognize Mike Napoli, who will bat cleanup for Cleveland while trying to reproduce the October magic that propelled his 2013 Sox to the championship. The bottom half of Cleveland's order is something of an x-factor in this series, as it features a bunch of guys who only played part of the season. If their unproven young guys like Tyler Naquin can produce, the Indians can match the Sox scoring onslaught. If not, then the bottom of the order will give Boston's pitchers some easy innings. 

Starting Pitching

Red Sox

Rick Porcello: 22-4, 3.15 ERA, 1.01 WHIP, 189 Ks, 221 IP
David Price: 17-9, 3.99 ERA, 1.20 WHIP, 228 Ks, 230 IP
Clay Buchholz: 8-10, 4.78 ERA, 1.33 WHIP, 93 KS, 139 IP
Eduardo Rodriguez: 3-7, 4.71 ERA, 1.30 WHIP, 100 Ks, 107 IP

John Farrell's decision to start Buchholz in Game 3 is controversial, as Clay has been inconsistent to say the least, not only this season but his entire career. Thanks to Farrell getting Steven Wright hurt by using him as a pinch runner for some dumbass reason, there was an opening in the rotation, and Clay has earned his spot with the way he pitched down the stretch. In 5 September starts, he was excellent in 4 of them, going at least 6 innings while allowing two runs or less. In the other, he gave up 6 runs in 3 innings. I'm ok with Clay getting the ball in game 3, but he has to be on the shortest of leashes. When Buchholz is Suckholz, its obvious early on, and Farrell cannot give him the chance to work through it. The Red Sox will be carrying Drew Pomeranz on the ALDS roster, and he needs to be ready to come in early if Clay doesn't have it.   

Indians 

Trevor Bauer: 12-8, 4.26 ERA, 1.31 WHIP, 168 Ks, 190 IP
Corey Kluber: 18-9, 3.14 ERA, 1.06 WHIP, 227 Ks, 215 IP
Josh Tomlin: 13-9 4.40 ERA, 1.19 WHIP, 118 Ks, 174 IP

The Indians rotation was a major strength for most of the season, but a couple of horribly timed injuries have really downgraded their starting pitching. Carlos Carrasco and Danny Salazar were the number 2 and 3 starters for this team before going down in September, and neither are on the roster for this round. That leaves Cleveland with only 1 truly solid starter in Kluber, who won the Cy Young in 2014 and is in the running to win it again this season. Manager Terry Francona has chosen to use Kluber against David Price, setting up a power pitching matchup for Game 2. The Indians really need Kluber to be brilliant in this series, as I don't see their other pitchers keeping the Sox down. He will probably have to win twice in 5 games for Cleveland to advance.

Bullpens


Red Sox: Matt Barnes, Joe Kelly, Drew Pomeranz, Robbie Ross Jr., Brad Ziegler, Koji Uehara, Crag Kimbrel

The Sox have a decent group of relievers, with arms for a variety of situations. Pomeranz is a starter in the regular season, and will be the go to guy if someone gets in trouble early in the game. Robbie Ross Jr. will be the lefty-on-lefty specialist, as left handed hitters are batting just .188 against him this year. Joe Kelly and Matt Barnes are fireballers who can gas it up to 99 MPH, but neither are dominant and will probably be 6th-7th inning guys. Ziegler is a submariner who is particularly adept at getting ground balls; he will be a major situational option to bring in with men on base to get a double play. Uehara is the Sox timeless, 41 year old former closer, who will man 8th inning duties as the bridge to Kimbrel. Kimbrel has been one of the best closers in the game for years, but he did struggle in each of his final 3 outings during the regular season. He will need to exhibit better control in October. 

Indians: Cody Allen, Cody Anderson, Mike Clevinger, Jeff Manship, Dan Otero, Bryan Shaw, Andrew Miller

Francona will probably be leaning fairly heavily on this group, especially in Game 3. I can see a scenario in which they tag team Tomlin and Clevinger in game 3, with each guy going a few innings. The Indians do boast some excellent arms at the back end of the pen, and will feel very comfortable with the lead in the late innings. Andrew Miller, acquired in a midseason trade with Yankees, is one of the most dominant relievers in baseball. The lefty has a .139 batting average against, with 46 strikeouts in 29 innings. Those numbers are absurd, and he is especially devastating against a lefty-heavy lineup like the Sox. Shaw is another strikeout machine in a setup role, averaging more than 1 punchout per inning. Closer Cody Allen has also been outstanding this season, converting 32 of 35 save opportunities while putting up a 2.51 ERA. 

I have to give the edge in the bullpen to the Indians, who have just been more consistent all season. They have 3 dominant arms for the late innings, so the Sox really have to do their damage in the early parts of the game. 

Prediction: Sox in 4. Boston simply has too much offense for the thin pitching staff of the Indians. I don't think Cleveland can win in a shootout, and I don't think they will get outstanding pitching from the mediocre healthy guys they have left. With Carrasco and Salazar in the mix, this would be a different story, but the fact is they don't have those guys. Francona is an excellent manager, and these will be close, hard fought games... but Boston just has too much talent.