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Despite a noticeable lack of parent sabotage, social media hackings, and way-too-intense bong rips, there was still plenty to take away from this years first 32 picks, even without Bill Belichick involved. Let's get to it.
Cleveland plays it by the book
Cleveland followed conventional wisdom and picked DE Myles Garrett, the consensus best player available, with the #1 overall pick. It would have been typical for them to totally overthink this, and do something amazingly dumb like trade down to draft Deshone Kizer as a franchise QB. Part of me was hoping they would do something like that; the other part of me was expecting them to. Way to not totally Browns this one up, Cleveland.
What the fuck are the Bears doing?
Chicago came into this offseason with nothing but ??? at QB. They gave Mike Glennon a staggeringly stupid 3-year, $45 million deal to answer those questions. Tonight they found themselves in a draft with 2 QB choices and just one team ahead of them, so what did they do? Give away 3 picks to move up 1 spot, of course! Oh yeah, and then they passed on the guy who played in back-to-back national championship games in favor of the guy who just changed his name because it rhymed with "bitch".
Jacksonville Splurges on the Wrong RB
The Jaguars were in an interesting spot. Despite being bad enough to have a top-5 pick, Jacksonville's roster isn't utterly bereft of talent, unlike the other teams in this range. Their biggest needs are on the offensive line and at QB, where we have PLENTY of evidence that Blake Bortles is not the answer. Unfortunately, there aren't any good offensive linemen in this class, and no surefire QB pick. So the Jaguars used their #4 spot to grab LSU RB Leonard Fournette, trying to replicate the success that Dallas had with their Ezekiel Elliot pick at #4 last year. Unfortunately, the Jaguars don't have the best offensive line in over a decade, and I'm on record calling Fournette very overrated. Oh yeah, and Jacksonville also signed RB Chris Ivory to a 5 year, $32 million deal last season. Waste of a pick.
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| Funny every time |
Run of Receivers
Picks 5-9 saw the 4 top pass catchers in this draft come off the board:
-Corey Davis went to the Titans, which I think is an excellent move. A dynamic wide receiver was their biggest need on offense, and Davis is going to be a MONSTER. Buckle up, Marcus Mariota: you're officially out of excuses.
-Mike Williams to the Chargers. This looks like a decent fit, as Rivers loves throwing to big bodied, physical, jump-ball receivers like Williams. I just think the Chargers had bigger needs elsewhere, and will regret passing on some of the defensive studs that were available (they should have taken safety Malik Hooker).
-You're damn right I'm calling Christian McCaffrey a receiver. He worked out a lot on the outside during the draft process, and I expect the Panthers will use him out of the slot a ton. This is a great fit of skill set and scheme, and Cam Newton will finally have a wideout who is more than fast.
-John Ross and his combine-record 4.2 second 40 time are going to Cincinnati to play opposite AJ Green. Think he might get the chance to outrun some single coverage? Only if he can stay healthy.
Two Big QB Trades
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| A cairn, or Ted Ginn's hands? You decide. |
Two Big QB Trades
Things got wild around the 10 spot! The Chiefs gave Buffalo a 2017 3rd rounder and a 2018 1st rounder for the right to swap picks, moving up 17 places to take QB Patrick Maholmes. There were a ton of pre-draft rumors about KC's interest in Maholmes, and the move signals they are finally ready to begin the process of moving on from Alex Smith. Still, Maholmes won't be ready to play right away, and I'm not sure the Chiefs needed to get all the way up to 10 to get their man, especially with Watson still on the board. They were obviously afraid that Cleveland/Houston/Denver (maybe?) were all in the market for a signla caller, but I don't think any of those teams were very interested in Maholmes. Regardless, a 1st and a 3rd is a HUGE price to pay for a project QB.
Everyone knew the Texans were looking for a QB, and once the Chiefs made their move it really put the pressure on the Houston brain trust. After years of outstanding defense being completely wasted by awful passers, the Texans will now turn things over to Clemson star Deshaun Watson. Watson turned the ball over way too much in college, and I have doubts that he will be accurate enough to succeed in the NFL, but I also think he's the best QB prospect in this draft. The Texans gave up their first round pick next year in the deal, but this was a no-brainer move. Watson throwing to DeAndre Hopkins will be exciting at the very least, and he came at a cheaper price than Maholmes. Good move for the Texans.
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A Bunch of Logical Picks on Defense
Sometimes, the characteristics of a pick determine the identity of a franchise. Other times, the identity of a franchise determines the characteristics of a pick. We got a bunch of the second kind in the middle of the first round:
-Arizona took linebacker Haasan Reddick, a great athlete who doesn't fit neatly into one position. The Cardinals have a whole defense full of these guys, and Reddick will fit right in playing both linebacker and safety in their hybrid scheme.
-The Eagles took DE Derek Barnett, a guy with an outstanding motor and great college production despite lacking elite natural athleticism. Does that sound like Philly?
-The Colts took S Malik Hooker, one of my favorite players in this entire draft. Still, it is just incredibly Colts to look at a roster that hasn't been able to defend the run for years, and then go draft a safety whose negatives section is all about how he can't tackle. But hey, at least they didn't take another 5'9" slot receiver. Progress!
-Baltimore took CB Marlon Humphrey. His father was a star football player, he went to Alabama, his measurables are exactly what you look for in a corner, and all he needs is good coaching to teach him proper technique? Sounds like a classic Ozzie Newsome pick! I'm sure he will develop, in classic Baltimore fashion, into a solid contributor and horrible person.
-The Redskins take DE Jonathan Allen, a tremendously talented pass rusher who tore the labrum in both of his shoulders during college, and now has freaking ARTHRITIS in both of them. Dan Snyder has never been afraid to make high-risk, high-reward moves, and this is certainly another one.
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The Bucs are Loading up for Jameis
Credit where credit is due: Tampa Bay realized that J-Boo needs more weapons than Mike Evans in order to thrive, so they went out and got some. First they signed free agent deep threat/aspiring gang member Desean "Jaccpot" Jackson to play across from Evans. Now they have drafted Alabama TE OJ Howard, who might be the best offensive player in this entire class. At 6'6 250 lbs, he runs a 4.51 40 yard dash. He's bigger than most linebackers, as fast as a running back, has amazing hands, and can block too. Basically, he's Black Gronk. The only knock on him is that some scouts don't think he is "competitive enough", which sounds like the kind of thing you say because you can't just leave a pool of cum on your evaluation sheet. This guy should have been a top 10 pick.
The Giants Miss an Opportunity
Quick, what do the Giants need most? If you answered anything but a running game, you haven't watched a single Giants game in the last two seasons. They had two excellent running backs to choose from in Dalvin Cook and Alvin Kamara, and instead selected... Evan Engram, a receiving tight end who struggles to block in the run game. Maybe the Giants think they can get one of the running backs tomorrow, or maybe they have their eye on a different back in a later round. Still, there are a ton of tight ends in this draft, and Big Blue didn't do anything to address their weaknesses with this pick.
The Browns Get Frisky Late
With 2 first picks and 11 overall, Cleveland was always going to be a major player in this draft, but they made even bigger splashes than people were expecting on day 1. After picking #1 and dealing the 12th overall pick to Houston, Cleveland took positionless superathlete Jabril Peppers with the 25th pick. Then they shipped a 4th rounder to the Packers to move up from 33 to 29 and grab TE David Njoku. Both players are incredibly athletic, potential game changers, but both are somewhat raw. Taking the athletic talent and figuring it out later reflects the sabermetrics, Moneyball style approach that Paul DePodesta was hired for, but it's definitely risky. Turned gifted yet unrefined athletes into productive NFL players requires quality coaching and sound organizational structure, neither of which have been associated with Cleveland for the last 3 decades or so.
The Patriots Draft Brandin Cooks with the 32nd pick
Most teams use a first round pick on a receiver hoping they turn into young Pro Bowler. Belichick does it knowing Cooks already is one.
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